Thursday, March 12, 2009

i'm just a soul who's intentions are good;

and i am so god damn sick of everything. i'm sick of keeping my mouth shut to avoid a blowout. i'm sick of bending over backwards for people who don't and never will give a shit. no matter how much i try to make them happy. idgaf who does or does not read this. honestly. idgaf who has a problem with what i say, and who agree's.

i want to start over, i want to go somewhere that i don't have to deal with any bullshit like this, ever. i thought that might have actually happened a while ago, but i'm not even going there. i'm getting worn down from all the repetitiveness of everything, everyone. i'm not saying i want to leave my friends and family. that's not the case. i could leave everything else in five minutes if i had the opportunity. don't get me wrong, i love pittsburgh, it just seems like there is hardly anything left for me here.

i am so sick and tired of dumb bitches thinking they have anything on me. i'm a better friend than you will ever be. i'm already a better person than you will ever become. you think by you doing the things you do, you're hurting me. trust me honey, you've been doing the same things for the past two years, being the fake bitch you always have been, and it's never hurt me yet. so keep trying, you won't win. nothing you do really has any effect on me besides annoyance. anything you did to me will come back to you tenfold, if it hasn't already yet. if you think making friends with people i have cut ties with is going to make me feel like you're stabbing me in the back, you're wrong. those people are out of my life for a reason, just like you. and if you want to talk shit about me to one of my ex's girlfriends, that's cool. it just shows how pathetic both of you are. if you want to fight me that bad, you know where i live. i'm over your middle school shit. real friends build you up, they help you reach your goals, they encourage and motivate you, are there for you and never disrespect you. the ones that bring you down just try to make themselves look better and feel better are nothing but dead fucking weight. real friends can only try for so long to help these people before cutting the dead weight or the weight will bring them down. and that is what i did.

i swear to god if i hear one more thing about the type of shirt i'm wearing or how big the size of the hole in my ear is, i'm going to flip. first off, i'm sorry i don't wear shirts 3 times too big so my chest is hidden. i'm comfortable with my body. i like my curves, i like my style. and if you have a problem with the fact that i wear v necks that are form fitting, and skinny jeans you can honestly fuck off. i have double d's, what the fuck do you want me to do with them. "you would come to work naked if you could." uhm no, and it's kind of ridiculous that that statement even came out of your mouth. and by the way, i stretched my ears because i like it, not because i wanted to "gross people out" just because it's something different from what you are used to doesn't make it "weird" or me a "weirdo". by the way, maybe i wouldn't be such a "tightass" if you didn't constantly say something about what i'm wearing, how disgusting my ears are, who i choose to be friends with or what i do in my spare time. i can take a jokes, but not when i'm constantly the butt of them. i could say so much, but i'm not the type of person to totally demean someone just for a laugh, or just to make the day go faster.

oh, and to the stupid bitch who complained about being cold, while everyone else in the whole floor is sweating their ass off, put on a fucking coat and man the fuck up. i had to stand outside without a jacket on, for 10 minutes to cool my body down, from the heat being turned up so high.


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