Saturday, December 26, 2009


So I was reading a post from one of my favorite bloggers on here, Kaelah Bee. She was blogging about this book called 31 days to build a better blog by problogger. I bought the book, I thought it would be something nice to try out. I'm attempting to redesign the blog as well as put some more information on it. I'm still kind of a n00b to all of this because I haven't spent as much time on it.
I plan on doing great things with this in the future, so look out. (:

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Since it's the Christmas Season, a lot of people are running some good sales.
With the 20% off coupon I got from American Eagle and the gift card I got in the secret santa, I think I'm going to do a little shopping for myself.
I'm getting...

I wanted this in black but we all know I'm not fitting into a small.

All for now, I hope tomorrow goes fast!
Each person in your life is there for a reason, Emma, and that reason always has something to do with love.

Like me,
The Universe

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Well, Saturday was fun. (: Baked cookies with Aunt Daryl, Ellie, Becky and the kids. I wish I took more pictures, but I think Becky took some, so we're good. There was a minor icing and flour fight, but Uncle Jim stopped that after a while.

Monday and today were hell at work.
I'm coming in early tomorrow to get some overtime and to help.
The rest of this week couldn't go any faster.

I need my hair done soon.

Friday, December 18, 2009

I know I'm still far from you, and it feels like I'm still far from home.


Some tattoo ideas I've been debating.

I've been thinking about what I want done next. I know I want more done to my back, and I know I want a whole piece. I'm almost positive I've decided it's going to be a landscape sort of thing. Here are some of my inspirations on how I want the tree too look or how I want the rest of the scenery to look. I have high hopes for this. (:


I've also been thinking about getting a Russian Nesting Doll like this on my thigh. I know my grandma isn't passed away or anything but it reminds me of her and my grandfather, who has. I played with this all the time at her house, and It just has a lot of memory. This isn't the exact one, but it's almost identical.

I haven't figured out what I want to get for my other grandparents yet, but this is something I've been thinking about since I got my first tattoo. I've just always put it off because I wanted something special and nothing felt "right" but that really does.

What do ya think?

seems like I've been posting a lot of long posts this month.

So tonight was my work Christmas party. I wish I could have taken more pictures and talked to more people, but it was a fun night. I took my sister because I'm lame and had no one else to ask. But that's really besides the point. So Anna and I got ready, and picked up Amber on the way. We get there right as the food was served. Perfect timing. (: We ate, it was really kind of awkward because we sat with a bunch of people I don't really talk to that much. But then we mingled and talked to this one couple for pretty much the whole time till the drawing started. Keep in mind last year I won a 32" LCD TV. This year I wasn't so lucky but I got a basket with a bunch of crackers and chocolate. Talked to people a little longer. I probably said a few things I shouldn't have but I don't know, I just thought it was wrong to blame someone for a problem that's not even really their fault. Yeah, It's going to be hell monday. I don't want to go back to work.
Got a few free drinks though. I only took two pictures though. :[

Amanda, Suzanne, Chip and I.

Anna and I. (Seester.)

I was also thinking I just want to go on a road trip, to a bunch of places, wherever we end up, with a bunch of friends having a good time. Then I realized almost all of my friends have gone away. I've either pushed them away or they've pushed me. I'd just love to do something like that. I think it would be so fun.

Well, it's getting late and I'm starting to get a little sleepy finally.


Ohhh, and I have about $70 saved.
I can't decide if I want to put it on my credit card balance, or actually save it. It's so nice having money saved, but I need to get that card paid off. >:0

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm starting a good deed's jar. The end of this month will roll over into next year. I haven't decided if I'm going to keep it for six months, or a year. The main purpose of this is to put me in a better mood, and help save money, sort of.
I've made a list, of things I usually do every day or so, but would be better if I did them longer, or earlier. Like going to bed at 10:30 on weeknights, instead of midnight sort of thing. If I do these things, I put a dollar in the jar. For the 10:30 thing, I'll probably put in a $1.50 because it most likely won't happen too often, as you can see. Working out more than usual at the gym, which will pay off in the long run anyways, drinking a lot more water than I normally do.
At the end of the six months and or year, Whatever money is in there, I will treat myself to a gift(most likely more tattoos, yes I plan on putting that much money in there), or put it in savings. Putting it in savings would be the smart thing to do, but we will see. I should put a dollar in there for actually putting money into my savings. LOL!

A lot of things have been going through my mind lately, I don't know, maybe because it's the end of the year, maybe because I'm not so naive anymore.

So I should be going on vacation tomorrow morning, but I'm not. I'm not sure how I feel about this really, and I think I'm probably going to be in a bad mood the rest of the week if I keep thinking about it.

I've been trying to figure out a new years resolution and the only thing I could come up with is to actually practice the saying "DGAF." I know I say I don't know, but sometimes I still do. I'm pretty sure it will pay off in the long run. I need to stop caring about the stuff I currently do, and focus on the things I need to. No more worrying about stupid shit, or caring about stupid shit. Worry about my money. And how the hell I spend all of it in two weeks, every two weeks. That's the only thing that needs to be important to me right now. I feel like things would go so much smoother if I just stopped caring, or even stopped responding.

And on an even more positive note, another new years resolution is for me to move out. I think for the sake of my own sanity and that of my family's, it needs to be this year. I know I can do it, I just actually have to.

On another totally different side note, people never change. If you're waiting for someone to change, you're wasting your time. Just saying.

Well, here goes.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Unlike her, I was there for you through the tough times, when you actually needed a best friend. Maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore, maybe it never did. But it meant a lot to me, you meant a lot to me, & you still do.

"just tell me why I was never good enough. I think you owe me at least that much. after all the months of second guessing and falling down, you owe me this. so before you go run of to your pretty little new girlfriend, look me in the eyes and tell me why after I nearly killed myself.trying to be perfect for you, I still never really lived up to your expectations"

Better odds await the faint of heart. I've got a new disaster to start, I'm gonna make my day. Way too deep to cash out now, upside down and inside out. I never knew it was not okay. It's a neverender.

"Look, Finn, I have lived in a lot of places and I've met a lot of people and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that some people will always find a way to feel like they're better than everyone else around them. It sounds like Kayla is one of those people. She doesn't get that just because you have different experiences . . . because you like one thing and she likes another, that doesn't make her better. It just makes the two of you different. And if she thinks she's better than you, then she is just wrong. And not worth it."

Friday, December 11, 2009

Last night they said the fire had spread and we said our prayers, and now the flames are burning me in my bed but I just don't care. We all go to sleep in the same place and in the morning hope that we're all the same. We'll just sit around like broke down cars in the lot waiting for repairs.

There you go
There it goes

Well I wish that I was as good as you at caring and trusting. And I wish that my condition was new but I'm old and rusted. So we just hurry up only to wait, and add to the list of all the places we hate. And I'll pretend like I've got something to say but I've got nothing.

So if I'm a liar then you're a thief. At least we both know where the other one sleeps and lets end this tonight.

So if I'm a liar then you're a thief
At least we both know where the other one sleeps and lets end this tonight

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I'm not fucking blind to the way that you talk around the truth. Not just what you say, but what you do. Played this tug of war way too fucking long. Like every time; again I've lost, you've won. You took advantage of the trust that I gave, took my forgiveness, rubbed it in my face.

You know I still know how, how much your love costs
You know when I peel back your layered lip gloss
You know I still know how to fuck your eyes crossed
It's your loss
It's your loss.

Secrets don’t make friends, but I’m really not looking to make any.